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December 2007

 

ALBERTO FUGUET

Love on Wheels | Amor Sobre Ruedas

 

Every weekend, including Sundays after the sketch comedy Happening or the football match, Sandra and Márgara got into the sky-blue Toyota Celica and cruised Apoquindo looking for guysor minos as they liked to call themto hook up with. It was almost like a sport, a real hobby, but it seemed all right to them, understandable, not at all a disgraceful vice as people often say. However, when they started going out on Tuesdays like todayeven they started to feel like it was getting out of hand. Anyways, whatever. Like totally, they thought, worse to remain alone, every girl for herself, dreaming away the time, frustrated to death.

          The driver was Márgara, owner of the Celica, but in affairs of destiny she would pass the reins when the moment of conquest came. There were basically two reasons: she had to worry about driving well (an accident would be humiliating, totally out of placelike flailing spastically in the middle of a slow dance); and plus she just couldn’t master the art of picking up boys like Sandra, her friend and copilot, the brain of the duo, quite attractive, almost exotic, with long hair that hung down over one eye, shiny black with blonde streaksway in style. Together, Sandra and Márgara—who was shorter, with a little meat on her bones, you might say—swore they were the queens of love-on-wheels, the Cagney and Lacey of the Apoquindo strip, although it was clear that this was pure fantasy, since there were other girls who blew them away in the competitive world of car-to-car conquests.

          Sandra and Márgara were good friends, but they drew clear lines staking their turf at the moment of truth. Every girl for herself, and may the best girl win. They had known each other all their lives, both classmates as well as deskmates in every class—with all the passive-aggressive intimacy that brought. A few of their old school friends who they used to get together with for after school snack-and-gossip sessions, had told them not too long ago that going around looking for guys on the street was pathetic and debauched. Even dangerous. The girls came back with the response already so well rehearsed: “How else are we gonna meet guys?” And, in some ways, it was true. Though in their respective schools there wasas Sandra would saya “healthy stock of available studs,” they knew perfectly who was who, or rather—that none of the studs would pay either of them much attention. Their classmates were just that: classmates. That was it. Of course, they could all go out and do something together, but what? Aerobics? All a bunch of queers. Philosophy courses, brain power, literary workshops? All a bunch of nutcases and deadbeats. No, the girls just weren’t that type. At all.

          The outlook was, all told, bleak. And so they had arrived at the conclusion that it was a definite must to get out there, like they were today, because if they just sat around longing for Prince Charming, the only ending possible would be that—although it sounded cheesy—the train would leave without them.

          Still, there was one comfort: they weren’t, by far, the only girls out there dedicated to love on wheels. Every time they made the loop, as on this strange night, they crossed paths with a good numberan astounding numberof women looking for the same thing. Or even more, because some of them were dedicated to going all the way while Sandra and Márgara were just playing it cool, trying to meet guys so that later they could choose the most suitable, the most succulent of the pile. The competition was stiff, ruthless. Every cat on the prowl, every lady out for young meat, every bored teenage girl was a threat to the two.

          It’s hard to believe that two young girls going out cruising for guysage limit thirtydidn’t go all the way. They didn’t even go to second base. And not because they didn’t want to, but simply for reputation’s sake. Santiago is, after all, a small town, and as Márgara was always fond of repeating, any girl who affords herself the luxury of hopping from bed to bed will pay for it later. The idea, then, was to get to know guys in cars, accept their offers to go for a few drinks, just say yes, spend a little time, exchange phone numbers, go to a lookout pointat mostand almost never let the contact go further.

          Since they weren’t stupid and knew they had to look out for themselvesthough tonight, tonight was another thingthey never agreed to stray too far from the strip. They held as law not to go down further than Providencia con Lyon nor up beyond Tavelli de Las Condes. Another rule was always to remain in their own car. That way if the guys got too pushy, they could turn tail and split. The guys they met were usually hotties (if not— they couldn’t be bothered to give so much as a little wave through the window), high class, with cars more or less running. Basic was that they dug music and that they played it loud. Just judging by radio station blasting from an unknown guy’s car, Sandra and Márgara could tell his type and whether or not he met the minimum requirements. They would typically wind up being students from Incacea or Inacap; once in a blue moon they would hook up with guys from the Catholic University, but this was plain bad luck because the girls knew how totally stiff and boring they were, and that being smart was nothing but another excuse to have to go out looking for girls, because they’d seen more than enough proof that that the more brilliant the guy, the more of a numbskull he was when it came to being happy.

 

          That is just what the two are thinking about: the dose of luck they would need to snare a mate. Maybe tonight, a night too chilly for October: things will go differently, they hope. There even seems to be a something in the air. The night is different, eerie. Weird.

 

          Apoquindo, the busiest street in the uptown neighborhoods, with its three lanes going up and three coming down, is pretty jumping for a Tuesday, almost like a Saturday; this puts the girls in a good mood and spurs them on as they cruise the streets. Sandra’s going crazy, singing out at the top of her lungs (though she hasn’t got a clue about Englishshe just knows that David Bowie is like the maximum), moving her whole heated body to the radio’s rhythm, feeling stunning and proud to be young, to be rich, to be her.

          As they’ve coordinated, Sandra has on an extremely tight, strapless t-shirt with her tits squeezed into the cotton stamped with an Any time you want! in red. Márgara is wearing—although in reality she knows she’s got nothing of the femme fatale in her—a skirt with two slits that, according to her, will kill any guy in less than one minute flat, and a super shiny, black tube-top that’s a bit too loose. Her hair is styled to look like she’s just come from a wild screw. For eyeshadow, smears of cinnamon that flash gold sparkles. The two are decked out not so much for a Tuesday as to find a partner for twelve-rounds in bed.

          Around nine-ish ten-ishrelatively early, unless you consider that the legal curfew is at two. They hit Apoquindo, the sacred street, off of Bosque Norte, with all those restaurants that grace the pages of Mundo Diners; they double back, toward El Faro, where the ultra-cool used to chill before it went out of style and kicked the bucket. They’re restless, as if preparing for victory, bullshitting. Maybe that’s why they haven’t noticed that for the last half hour they’ve been followed closelyvery closelypractically scraping bumpers. Too much chatter and too much glancing to the sides and they’ve forgotten what’s at their backs: a black car, brilliant and luminous, reflecting the lights of the whole strip. The car rides smooth, like a boat, and advances slowly, almost without touching the pavement, spying on the two women who cruise the streets in search of the perfect man.

          Sandra lights up. She takes a drag and exhales a thin wisp of smoke. She looks at Márgara, who looks disappointed. Her eyes, so made up they look dead, fixed on the cars aheadand not those behind. Sandra continues to smoke; on the radio, Madonna sings feels so good inside, and they both lick their lips. But nothing much happens. Nothing interesting: the more they try to have a good time, the worse time they have. Maybe it would be better just to go home.

          Suddenly, Márgara’s eyes light up. A veil of light falls over her face. The illumination comes from the rear-view mirror, as if it were covered with invisible reflectors. Sandra turns around quickly to see the two round lights glaring into her face like panthers. The jet black car slows down and begins to fall back. But only for an instant. The signal turns green. The car advances, goes in the other lane and accelerates. It’s already parallel with them. The blue Celica is reflected in its elegant black. Both girls are silent, breathless. Its windows are also black and shining. No one can be seen inside. They are very close, barely a few centimeters away. Both cars shift to the same speed. Red light. The two stop.

          They are now side-by-side. Sandra, who already has her window down and her elbow out, stares wide-eyed at the black windows. She would sell her soul and all for the power to see who’s inside. And her desire is granted: the windowsall the windowscome down automatically. The lower they open, the louder the rock blares out with a rhythm like the beating of a heart. The interior of the car is lit up and a strange green light escapes from widening spaces. Inside are four men, around twenty, twenty-five years old. They appear taken from the pages of a men’s fashion magazine. They are perfect, beautiful: their pleasantly tanned skin emanates a thick, attractive fragrance that crosses from one car to the other. Each one is distinct, with different hairstyles; same with their clothes, watches, faces. But their eyes are the same. Or very similar. The same fixed, hard, ensnaring expression. The stylization of their faces makes them look fake, manufacturedliving mannequins that breathe, sweat, prowl.

          Green light. Both take off. Márgara, without knowing why, tunes the radio to the same station as the black car. Neither of the two hurries ahead. They stay parallel. The guys don’t look at them. The girls do nothing but contemplate with moist, open mouths those four sensational specimens. Apoquindo seems slower, emptier. Red light.

          Sandra blows a bubble with her pink gum. She is bursting with tension and excitement. The four men still don’t look to the side. And they’re so close. All she’d have to do is stretch out her hand a little to caress that hard and serious chin, to run her fingers through that hair so like Sting’sshort, chestnut brown, and saturated with gel. But the guy just quietly stares off into space, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. The other three fix their platinum eyes on a group of prostitutes with synthetic fur jackets and stockings that work the corner of Burgos. Márgara watches with envy as the coveted gazes are directed toward those trashy ladies and not toward them, scared, ready for everything, burning hot for those four babes, those fiendishly handsome ladykillers. Green light. Go.

          Márgara floors the gas pedal, making the engine roar, but doesn’t take off. The black car stays there, dauntless. Once more she floors it, makes the tires smoke, and stops. The guys don’t respond. She hits the gas, releases the clutch, hits and releases, puts it in gear: first spins out then is off, second gear, flying, tearing up the road, full throttle, seventy, ninety, spurring it all the way, and the black car shining like a dark, electrified jaguar, as though zooming by from above, passing the red sign of La Gente, the Bowling and its world, leaving everyone in the dust, overtaking them all, clinging to their side, close, the wind cool and strong, lashing their hair, stripping it of everything, and Sandra who by now is almost completely out of the window, euphoric and crazed, grabs her breasts and squeezes them till they nearly burst through the material, shouting to them with all strength, wanna play, boys?

          And she starts blowing them kisses, opening her mouth, wiping off her lipstick with her tongue. Márgara keeps accelerating, already going a hundred twenty, can’t stop, radio blaring, there’ll be swinging, swaying, music playing, dancing in the streets and the guys, to the girls’ surprise, begin to smile, to turn human, and they blow back the kisses, holler back phrases, dirty words, winking, let’s go, Márgara, get closer, we’re going all the way with these guys, I’ll take the ones up front, once in a lifetime, what have we got to lose, girl? If we’re never gonna find our Princes, at least a good fuck doesn’t hurt anyone, and the guys are getting closer, smooth, slow, sliding up to their side, come, handsome, closer, like that, wanna feel you, hot stuff, if your mama knew, cutie, come, let me suck you, lick you and… shit! something changes, the car goes wild, spitting sparks, trying to run them over, run them off the road. The struggle, the war, the chaos begins; the black car charges the Celica, tries to ram it, to destroy the rear door, and the battle rages, only the street like a war zone and Márgara accelerates, as fast as possible, while the guys in the black car yell dirty words, more dirty words, insults, spitting gobs of phlegm and saliva, pulling down their Wranglers pissing on the Celica, toying with their cocks, offering them to the girls, and both radios, as if connected, as if the black car had taken over, blare cryptic symphonies, low, dense sounds, diabolic chirping and heavy guitar, enervating, metal rock, satanic rock and the mist, strange for October, a grainy, greenish mist makes its entrance to the street, filling it to the rooftops of the buildings, veiling the way, blocking the view, the senses, paralyzing the reflections and the black car advances over the mattress of mist, circling until it surrounds them in a purple, viscous tornado and, in the midst of the cackling from a ways off and the metallic chaos emanating over the conduit, disappears down a cross street, leaving only a trembling in the leaves and a gust in the breeze.

          Márgara and Sandra sit in the middle of Apoquindo, their car stopped. The street is vacant, no people, no buses, no nothing. The mist lingers and thickens. Both breathe deeply and try to forget what they have so recently lived. The radio doesn’t work. Gone dead.

          They climb back in the car, start the engine, turn around, and head home in silence, trying not to make any noise. It seems to take forever, as if the pavement was running in the opposite direction. The reigning muteness of the isolated street hasn’t lost its air of complicity. Márgara looks in the mirror and in the distance sees two distant lights rapidly drawing closer. She hits the gas like never before.

          From around the corner appears a black car that, sweeping diagonally across the street, stations itself in front of them, blocking their path of escape. Out of nowhere, two black cars pull up on either side. Márgara looks in the rearview mirror again: another black car right on their tail. The radio starts to play, rattling the windows. The motor dies down. The four cars stop. A door opens.

(1986)

 

Translated by Jordan A. Yamaji Smith and Armando Cerpa

 

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